Sadness

The last few days have been filled with heavy heart sadness. No one has died and no one is sick but my heart is still heavy after a few events took place on Friday and some decisions made on Sunday evening.

I know that many of you know that I was planning on going to the Middle East at the first of November. Well, I believe that God is calling me to stay home and be a mommy and fight a battle for my munchkin. I know that there will be more opportunities for me to go but I was really looking forward to going. I am going to listen to the Lord's wisdom for what I need to do. Friday was a really tough day as I had to attend what I thought was an IEP meeting for Jack at his school. Well, come to find out it was not. It was just another meeting of school personnel telling me and our advocate and psychologist what Jack was doing wrong and how he was not doing anything to help himself. We have been fighting this same fight since October of last year. Two and half hours I sat in that room with 9 other people listening to them belittle the disability that Jack has and basically tear him down instead of seeing the progress he has made in almost a year. They kept telling us about the things he wasn't doing or the way his tone was to his teacher instead of finding the things that he was doing correctly. I know that God wants me to be home so that I can continue to fight for the services that Jack needs and to use these "issues" as teaching moments for the people at the school. Jon and I hit a new level of frustration Friday evening and couldn't believe the way that grown adults were talking about a 6 year old little boy or the fact that they thought that I (as his mother) was lying when I told them of all of the successes we have had at home with almost the exact same procedures that we have asked them to use at school.

Thankfully the last 2 days he has had really good days. I continue to pray that he will have good days and that his teacher and everyone at the school will see just how hard he is trying to do what is asked of him. All I want is for them to give him a chance - a chance to be who he is, especially with his disability.

For now.